Love the Man, Hate the Methods

For those of us that have trouble with our parents, mine primarily being with my father, there comes a time when, after the stigma of youth, you realize that some of your best, inherent qualities are derived from these very parents (or parent) even as these very qualities in them served as the basis for the underlying issues. A good friend of mine - Jim De Geus - once said, in reference to a difficult uncle, I believe, "love the man, hate the methods". This is so insightful, as it is so useful to make the distinction between who people are and what they do. As surely as wolves are not inherently evil, even as they tear little baby bunnies to pieces, it is probably the case that most of the people we would deem as evil or feel justified in hating, are, in fact, as noble and pure as wolves in a pack, but are driven to do 'bad' things by the need to survive, the pressures of life and the inability to see their 'bad' behavior vis a vis others. This view is, I think, the only view that allows me to acknowledge that I love my father.