Suburban Shrimp Scampi

I think I’ve stumbled on to a near perfect Shrimp Scampi recipe for the average suburbanite, who, additionally, likes to avoid garlic and onions. 

Here are the ingredients:

2 pounds of peeled and deveined medium shrimp. Of course, if you are a big fan of manual labor, you can peel and devein them yourself, but I would encourage you to research both comparative advantage and opportunity cost first. 

2 cups of Pinot Grigio. There is no need for presumption here. Just buy any brand that comes from the Venice, Italy area in a large, 1.5L bottle for less than $10. 

4 table spoons of salted butter

1/2 large (6g) Knorr chicken bouillon cube. Of course, you can use any brand. 

1 cup of Italian parsley. This would be just the tops. When I say 1 cup, I mean if you lightly pat the leaves down. If you insist on pushing the leaves down with your foot, I am sure you could compress an entire bushel in a cup, but this is not my intent. 

The juice from 1/2 lemon

In a large, wide bottomed pot over low to medium heat, combine the Pinot Grigio, lemon juice, butter, parsley and bouillon cube, and then let simmer until the very nearly all of the liquid has evaporated. Imagine you have an untreated urinary tract infection that has been festering for a few weeks, and then you take the darkest, thickest piss you’ve ever seen. When the ingredients in question here approximate that color and consistency, you are ready to move to the next step (and go to the ER). 

Most recipes counsel you to cook shrimp over medium to high heat for 6 minutes, but, unless you have a centrifuge that you can use to drain the water from your shrimp, I find that it is better to simmer the shrimp, uncovered, for a longer period of time. 

Thus, add the shrimp to the reduction and simmer over low-to-medium heat (i.e. the same level you used to create the reduction) uncovered for about 20 minutes or until the shrimp scampi has a reasonable amount of liquid, but not too much. 

Enjoy :-)